I'm Tasha. 17 years old and studying A-levels.
I am also currently in recovery, and i'm using tumblr to blog about it and help others along the way. I have suffered from an eating disorder, depression, self harm and trichotillomania. I need this out of my life, i am done wasting time.
I love playing and listening to music, my family and my friends. I don't know where i would be without them, i am so grateful to everyone for sticking by me and for having hope in me when i had none.
If anyone wants to talk or needs some advice, then feel free to message me :)
Have a lovely day xxxx
Anorexia will ruin your Christmas. It will ruin your birthday. Friend’s birthdays. Your weekly social outings. Cake day in your literature class at college. The pudding you always enjoyed after dinner in an evening.
Anorexia will ruin your wedding day. The upbringing of your children. Your relationship with your partner.
Anorexia will ruin your friends. Your family. Your lovers. Your children. Everyone you see.
Anorexia will ruin your hair. Your nails. Your circulation. Your body. Your bones. Your love. Your trust. Your self esteem. Your happiness.
But one day
You have the power
You will win.
You’ll get your friends back. Your family will smile when you accept a cookie. Your teachers will laugh when you light up the room with your healthy smile. Your children will love it when Mum bakes and shares it with them. Your partner will hug you and not feel bones but curves and still think you’re just as god damned beautiful as the first day he met you.
You’ll get your healthy hair back. You’ll get strong nails. You’ll be able to wear nice clothes in whatever god damned size your body wants to be. You’ll look in the mirror and fucking smile.
And it might take time. And you might relapse.
And that’s okay.
We all need time. We don’t always succeed straight away.
But trust me darling.
You’ll get your life back.
And it’ll be fucking worth it.
okay right so here I am sitting infront of the tv eating my dinner trying to fight back all of the million negative thoughts and voices and trying to get to the end and eat and not throw it away and just be a fucking normal person eating dinner but THEN A WEIGHTLOSS PROGRAMME COMES ON TV and i’m just sat here like fuck you absolutely fuck you! why the hell do people feel the need to advertise weight loss products urghhhh its so triggering and losing weight doesn’t even make you happy anyway urgh its hard recovering from an eating disorser but its even harder when everyone around you is trying to lose weight and eat healthy and eat less and brag about weight loss and aim for a lower number and diet and diet some more and complain about their weight and express their desire to be skinny and aim for unrealistic sizes like STOP THIS STOP STOP STOP society has gone way to far. Skinny needs to stop being presented as being good and a journey to happinesw or something because ITS SO WRONG and everyone is being blinded and brainwashed into this mindset that skinny is better because it is so not. rant over.
To all those
That think quasi is the answer to their lives
That feel like they’re doing just fine
And are convinced they’re happier than they ever could be
Were they to fully recover
Your disorder is lying to you
Because we all know that
When your jeans feel that freshly washed tightness
Or you’re invited to that unplanned party
With unplanned people
And unplanned food
When the portion on the container
Of your newest challenge
Is so small it makes you cry
Because you know it won’t even touch the sides of your stomach
But doubling it is out of the question
Because have you seen the fat content?
And that deep inner sadness
We all know too well
That comes from staring at those photos on tumblr
Of those perfect, tanned and THIN girls
Living their colourful and frivolous lives
Or heck even those on Facebook
Of the friends that were once yours
Out and living
In Burger King at 3am
Drunk as skunks and high as kites
With smiles on their faces
Wider than yours has ever seen,
Or at least since you got sick
So I hope having read this
You put the scales
Or the tape measure
Or whatever is controlling you down
And take you first breath of freedom
And pour that unmeasured bowl of cereal
Or glass of wine
As you embark on your endeavor
To rediscover your soul
It will be hard
You may gain weight
But you will glow
Like a 6am summer sunrise
And laugh with the tunefulness of a
You will be part of the 3am Burger King runs
Too drunk to stand up
But most of all
That screaming that’s been in the back of your mind
For as long as you can remember
Will finally quieten down
This will be your final battle
And you will be victorious
An ode to quasi (via bus-stopdiaries)
On wanting to relapse (via blackbirdheart)
On wanting to relapse (via blackbirdheart)
Me (via harrietfindinghappiness)
The Smiths (via abewitchedsoul)